HUMOR: "Homeland Insecurity"
Memorial Day Service One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was
covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked
up, stood beside the boy and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."
"Good morning Pastor," replied the young man,
still focused on the plaque.
"Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the men and women
who have died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked,
"Which one, the 9:00 or the 10:30
service?"
You Know You Need a New Lawyer
When...During
your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.
He
tells you his last good case was a "Budweiser."
When
the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
He
picks the jury by playing "Duck-duck-goose."
During
the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.
A prison
guard is shaving your head.
Every
couple of minutes, he yells "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!"
and downs
a shot.
He
frequently gives juror number 4 the finger.
He
places a large "NO REFUNDS" sign on the defense table.
He
begins his closing with "As Ally McBeal once said..."
Just
before he says "Your Honor", he makes little quotation marks in
the air with his fingers.
The
sign in front of his office reads "Practicing law since 2:30pm".
Whenever
his objection is overruled, he tells the judge "Whatever."
He
giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
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